Recently I came across something called the imposter syndrome. If I understand it correctly, it is basically having the feeling or thought that people will discover you are a fraud. That you don't know enough or have enough experience and therefore people should not follow your advice or hire you at all.
I can certainly relate to this. I want to know the answer to everything. The fact that I don't always have the answer often leads to me feeling like I don't know enough. One of my biggest challenges so far has been to continue growing my client base while internally feeling like a fraud.
Logically I realise I have the knowledge and the skills to help most people in some small way at the very least and this is what keeps me going. It has only been maybe the last 6 months I have really begun to understand it's not possible for me to have all the answers and I won't be able to help everyone.
As a coach/trainer you can often think it is your job to get people the body they want. I am often torn between doing this and what I think is really important. I often ask myself if I should do what many expect within the fitness industry - constant weigh-ins, measuring, before and after photos, food diaries and tracking PB's – or whether I should follow my heart and simply encourage people to take responsibility for themselves.
That doesn't mean there is no place for that type of accountability and I have done and will continue to do some of those things myself but it sends a shallow message if that is your main or only focus.
This all has me thinking back to Year 5 at Airdale Primary in Pirie where I grew up. From memory we would do a math quiz every day; 12 questions. Once the quiz was done and the answers revealed, the teacher would ask those who got 12 correct to put up their hand, then 11, 10 and so on. I got 12 so often that I still remember quite clearly the day I only got 9.
As the teacher called out 12, everyone expected my hand to go up but it wasn't a great shock when it didn't. The teacher called out 11 and now my class mates were a little surprised. 10, still no hand up and even the teacher said something about me being off my game. I felt as though the whole room was looking at me, almost in a state of disbelief. Once 9 finally came around I was relieved to finally put my hand up. I felt as though I'd let everyone down.
This was a time that I allowed my friends sitting around me to copy my work. I wanted them to succeed just as much as me and this was how I thought I could help. At some point however, I started to realise that I was not helping. They would never know anything for themselves as long as they got the result without doing the work. It is this approach I now take with everyone I work with and why I think the weighing and measuring misses the point. Of course I still can't help but think if only I could give them the answer, if only I knew.
While I may never completely remove that feeling of being an imposter, I have had some coaching from a friend who has helped me begin to understand my real purpose which will put me on a path to gaining the right knowledge and having more confidence to act. It will also allow me to seek the help of others rather than having all the answers myself.
My purpose is to empower you. To give you the power to be yourself, to be strong and creative, the power to say no, to inspire others and chase your dreams. The power to be FREE!
You can't measure that on scales or with a tape measure and you won't necessarily see it as your weights go up or your times come down. It is the 'aliveness' in the eyes, the freedom in the laugh and smile, the glowing of the skin and the confidence and depth in the voice. It is the strength and grace in your presence.
This is my purpose in the world and while I know I will always have more to learn, I will only ever be a guide for anyone other than myself. I will never have the answer as only you can find yours.
