Yesterday I posted an excerpt from an article from Tony Robbins' website and because I can't help myself but over analyse everything I felt the need to explain it further from my perspective. I did mention towards the end of the post when we focus on the problem we are having rather than the goal that we want we can completely take our eyes off the prize and get lost thinking we are having success when really we are just overcoming a superficial issue.
This may be more of an insight into my mind than anything else but I often read something and it sparks a bigger idea, I feel like I read into the meaning of ideas better than most and that's often why I feel compelled to share.
The part of the excerpt that I want to focus on went like this:
“There are only 3 things preventing you from having anything you want in your life;
You lack clarity about what it is you really want and a compelling reason for why it's important to you.....
… The biggest problem is people want to know how to solve their problems but what they need to do is create the life that they want.”
To continue the insight into my own mind, for some reason I look at that and think people won't get it to the depth I think it requires. Maybe I'm right, hopefully I'm wrong and possibly I'm just overthinking it and it requires no depth at all. I am willing to admit that I'm probably wrong and most people do get it but nevertheless I'll share anyway!
The idea that passage sparked in me was one about getting out of the bullshit little things that we for some reason decide is worth spending our time complaining about and trying to solve and instead spend it on doing real work, the meat of life, the fulfilling and enjoying stuff. No doubt it can't always be those things but we make problems out of things that really aren't problems at all. If you ask Eckhart Tolle he'll tell you “there are no such thing as problems, only situations” but we'll leave that for another time.
The way the idea formed was around the “problem” of being overweight and the way we focus on losing weight. The first thing I would like to raise is who's idea is it to “lose weight”? Is it yours? Or is it the magazines, TV, celebrities, friends, relatives, strangers, doctors? Is it because the BMI said you should? Now of course I'm not saying that no one should work on it but what is the purpose of losing weight? Is it so you'll fit in, or even get complimented on your looks, so you won't have to hear that relative make remarks about your weight every time you see them? Will the opinion of those who were not long before telling you something is wrong with you make you feel better about yourself? How long will that last before you do something more drastic to get more 'social approval'?
If you're focusing on the problem of excess weight than you may choose solutions that are not in your overall best interest, not to mention that by focusing on it you will notice every single time it doesn't go the way you want it to.
So what is the alternative? That depends on what you want! Have you ever asked yourself that and sifted through the thoughts and opinions of all those people that have stuck in your head to find your own? I can bet that the majority of things you think you should do have come from someone else unless you've actively pursued and cultivated your own desires. My answer would be optimal health. The problem is weight loss but the goal is health, which is better to focus on? You may very well come up with something other than health, like family or career in which you think your weight is a problem stopping you from achieving goals in those fields. Whatever it is focus on the goal, not the problem!
Now replace your health goal with career, the environment, relationships. Can you see how we get stuck in solving problems? You have emails, deadlines and meetings but what you really want is to work 4 days a week and have a 3 day weekend for the same pay. Which one are you focusing on? Are you right now saying to yourself or to me that it's not possible? Ask yourself this instead, how would you get it? Brainstorm for a little while, focus on the goal not any problems you think might come up.
We really can design our lives how we want them, we just have to go after it!
What do you want? Get clear.
What do you want? Be specific.
Ask yourself as many times as you need to. What do I want?!?!
