A gambling addict dies and wakes up in a beautiful mansion. An angel greets him and says “anything you desire, just ask and it will come”. The man immediately asks to be taken to a casino. He plays all the casino games and can't lose! He is delivered his favourite food and drinks, wins the jackpot on the pokies and every number and race he bets on comes up a winner. He can't believe his luck! Weeks go by and the gambler is getting bored, he hasn't lost once and he has everything he ever wanted but winning has become meaningless and he's starting to get depressed. He says to the angel “I miss the thrill of winning, I really thought heaven would be different from this...” The angel looks at him and says “Who said this is heaven?” This is such a great story and perfectly illustrates the problem with always getting things easy. But we think, if we just got everything we wanted, we would be happy. The reality is that without challenge, without struggle, without pain, there is no triumph, no accomplishment, no joy. Our lives have become easier than ever. In the past, necessity forced people to be tough. Now everything is literally at the touch of a button.
Have we lost our mental strength?
Past generations grew up finding their own food, building their own homes/businesses/communities, fighting wars and doing what it takes to provide security for their family, often in a foreign environment. We grew up in the era of soccer mums, participation trophies and “No Child Left Behind”. We were over coddled and under worked, never learning to stand alone. Because all our needs and most of our wants were constantly met, we have a great sense of entitlement. We've replaced a can-do attitude with you-can't-make-me. We've replaced the soldier with the keyboard warrior. The industrious with helplessness. We are less likely to have the tough conversation or stick true to our values and beliefs because we'd rather be liked than have integrity. We don't stick things out as much, if things get uncomfortable or become too much of a struggle, we quit and ignore it or find a bandaid solution. We don't try to overreach, in fitness, health, business, relationships or life, we stay firmly in our comfort zone. Everything is made for convenience. And if I can be blunt, it's making us weak.
All of us have aspirations. Ideas that we want to bring forth and give to the world. But fear and uncertainty make us unsure of what to do next. We have a tendency to overestimate others and underestimate ourselves. We think that the successful people of the world are almost God-like, and that we are not capable of doing what they have done. But the only difference is that those that ventured forward, had the mental strength to do so. They couldn’t learn how to be themselves from anyone else, they had to go down their own path. And so do you.
Why is mental strength important?
Many people today are living very comfortable lives. Their health, work, home and relationships are causing no obvious problems so they are not striving for more. Why should we strive for more? Are we getting happiness and comfort confused? As humans we work largely on habits and subconscious behaviours. Your habits and behaviours may not seem to be affecting you but they are. If they are negative they are slowly grinding down your ability to overcome challenges in the future. Like when you suddenly realise you've put on 10kgs over years without even noticing. It also isn't just your future that's affected, no matter what you think, it affects how you show up every day. Your attitude to your work comes home with you, your attitude to your health impacts your relationships. You can't be miserable at work and come home, flick a switch and be a happy husband/wife and father/mother.
In every area of life — from your education to your work to your health — it is your amount of mental strength and toughness that influences your level of success more than any other factor. Mental toughness determines, in large part, how people respond to challenge, stress and pressure, irrespective of their circumstances. Those who are mentally tough experience the following benefits:
Better performance – it explains up to 25% of the variation in performance.
Improved positivity – adoption of more of a “can do” approach which leads to greater rapport and connectivity with others.
Greater wellbeing – more contentment and better stress management.
Change management – a calmer and lower stress response to change.
Increased aspirations – greater ambition and confidence in achieving targets and a greater willingness to persevere in order to do so.
Can we get it back?
Mentally strong people have healthy habits. They manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that set them up for success in life. The great news? These habits can be learnt. Being mentally strong is not just one thing, there are a number of traits that make someone mentally strong. We have attempted to present mental strength as meaningfully as possible and selected 4 main traits and some complementary traits. For the sake of simplicity we will be keeping our focus on these.
Our 4 traits: Courage. Discipline. Responsibility. Humility. Within those we also find: Integrity, Resilience, Confidence and Vulnerability and all these traits are magnified with a positive attitude or growth mindset. How do we build these traits in ourselves? Like muscles, we build them by using them.
If you want to build more strength, more discipline, more courage, more resilience; sign up for the Inspire Strength Challenge now! Click this link for more info: www.inspirestrengthandwellness.com/strength-challenge
